I believe in God....do you mean it?

What do you mean, when you say; "I believe in God."

So, to follow up on the issue of believing in God.  When going through those extremely tough times, such as a divorce, we all find ourselves having to make choices.  Choices about time, about money, character issues, friends, and how we handle stress….you know, choices!  We make the same choices when things are going well, perhaps in a different way, but still the same kinds of choices.  Whether we are self sufficient, or dependent on God.   Whether we set aside time for worship, or make leisure and work or things a priority instead. 

  Our proof that we believe in God is demonstrated in these kinds of things.  Do we simply mean that we acknowledge God exists?  Pilate was willing to do that much with Jesus….acknowledge that He existed!  Do we mean that we believe that He exists, and that He will take care of us after we die?  Those who came to Jesus with that notion back in those days found that he usually expected more than that, he expected a lifestyle of following Him.  If we say we believe in God, and demonstrate it every Sunday (or Saturday if that’s when you worship) of our lives, but not on weekdays, does that mean we believe that all God cares about is what we do with worship time? 

My wife says that at one church she used to attend, the minister would cut short his messages if there was a noon kickoff time for the local NFL team.  What in your life is so important that you will let it cut short your time worshipping or serving God? I wonder how my wife or your loved one would feel if we told them we couldn’t spend our usual date time with them today, because kickoff is in 10 minutes.  Probably won’t earn us very many points, huh?  So, what do you mean when you say you believe in God?  When the verse in James says that the demons believe and tremble; I suspect the idea is that they believe that God exists and that God is going to hold them accountable for everything they have done.  Is that what you mean when you say you believe in God?

Is there not a difference between a person saying that he believes in marriage and a person BEING married?  Could that be the distinction God desires of us?  I like the old illustration that it is one thing to say that you believe an elevator can carry you to the 99^th floor of the building.  It is another to get on the elevator and trust it to get you there.  My point is this:  are you believing from a distance, in a non-committed observational sort of way, or are you on board for the full experience in a committed relational sort of way?  As near as I can tell, the last one is really the only one the Bible endorses, even if our culture and a lot of our church folks endorse something less. 

For those of you going through a divorce, I just want to urge you NOT to fall prey to those pressures that can cause you to lose track of what is important.  Don’t let yourself end up like those demons, trembling when you realize God is going to expect you to give account for all the choices you are making now.  Just thinking out loud, so to speak.

 

TL:dr  Discussion of the question, “What does believing in God really mean?”

Picture information:

http://bugssite.org/blog/2009/04/14/nasa-photos-show-giant-cosmic-hand/

The actual image is of a nebula surrounding a small pulsar – a stellar remnant, a neutron star – the crushed core of a massive star, spinning and channelling electrons along its magnetic field. Pulsars produce regular radio wave pulses as their polar regions point to us and blast emissions from accelerated electrons in our direction. Radio signals tell us where they are, space telescopes point and check them out in other wavelengths to see what they do. The pulsar doing all this is estimated at a diameter of 12 miles, with the nebula 150 light years across. The entire system is 17,000 light years from us and estimated to be 1,700 years old. The pulsar is called PSR B1509-58, but is known to its friends as B1509.

Being Divorced on Labor Day

Labor Day...

So this is Labor Day, the last day of a long weekend.  For many people it is the weekend that represents the end of summer, the last chance at summer fun.  For a person recently divorced, it can mean lots of other things, so I want to address them specifically this blog.  If you aren’t divorced, read on, you might understand some friends better, and find it isn’t too late to include into your plans a friend who is struggling. 

First, I want to reflect on those who have younger children.  If your children are young, may be feeling the extra emptiness of a house without the sound of children at play.  Or you may feel the loss of that annual trip to the zoo or theme park.  Other weekends aren’t so bad, since by now you’d be back at work.  But if you are used to spending Labor Day with your kids, the change can be hard.

          On the other hand, you may have the children this weekend (in which case, why are you reading this now?  Go spend the time with your kids!!)  In the case of the parents WITH the kids for the weekend, it can be just the opposite.  You can overdo because you don’t see them as often, and want to make the most of the time you have.  But the kids most need you to be YOU, to provide the consistency of who YOU are, not some “manufactured for the weekend party person.”  Though your emotions may be overwhelmed, maintain a relatively normal time with your kids, but taking into account the fact that your time opportunities with them has been altered, and opportunities should be used while you can. 

          Or, you may have the kids, and be struggling with the “at mom’s house we always…” syndrome.  Don’t let yourself get caught up in the competition and blackmail.  It’s okay NOT to be what “dad’s house” is, to not have the same finances, to be faithful to your own set of values (assuming God approves).  Again, it is about who YOU are, and having a genuine relationship with your kids based on that.

          Finally, those without kids (or whose kids are elsewhere) who may feel lost because old traditions no longer fit.  As for you, remember, divorce gives you the opportunity to create your own traditions that fit with who YOU are, and the things YOU want YOUR life to reflect.  Maybe this year you don’t HAVE to go on that annual camping trip, and so can do the yard work for fall you always wished you could.  Or, maybe you don’t HAVE to stay home and work, so might go to a movie or the lake with some friends.

          For me, Labor Day weekend is not a big deal, and I just do what I do.  Maybe this is the year for YOU to decide what it is to you, and to do whatever it is that best represents you.  Even if it means working, because you can’t afford the getaway, because that, too, is an honest response to the changes you have experienced in your life.  As you look back over the weekend, or maybe at the beginning of this last day, I hope you find something of meaning in how you have spent your time.

A Divorce in your Church

Spiritual Risks in Divorce

       The process of divorce is one that all too often leads to individuals turning away from the church, from their faith, from God.  Why?  Lots of reasons.  Partly because of the devastation and shame that divorce can bring with it.  Sometimes because churches aren’t very good at connecting well with individuals going through divorce.  And there are other situations in which an individual simply is unable to find good connections in their church after their divorce.  If you attend church, I am pretty certain that if you think hard, you can identify church friends you recall who have gone through a divorce and then simply disappeared from your congregation, and maybe from church altogether.  What can be done to prevent this?  How can a divorcing person protect themselves?  What can a church body do to intervene?   

       Let’s talk to the divorcing/divorced person first.  Realize, you are at risk! 

I believe there is a satan, and he will do everything possible to use this time to drive you away from God.  There will be feelings and thoughts telling you that God doesn’t love you any more, that nobody cares, that you aren’t good enough for church, that you don’t belong or fit in, that if God really loved you then He shouldn’t have let this happen to you…..on and on and on.  In addition, satan will also make sure you run into Christians who will tell you that very thing, and add on plenty of extra guilt to make sure you know that if only YOU had followed God’s perfect plan the way THEY have, then you wouldn’t even be divorced anyway!  There is one word you need to remember when all these things come your way:  HOGWASH! 

       The truth is, God’s heart is breaking as He sees you….or any other person for that matter…..enduring the tragedies of this world, including divorce.  And God’s desire is to help you. But it is up to you to find a way to be faithful to God in this time, to seek to draw closer, to turn to Him for strength, to give God the chance to help you through it!!!  Instead of going to church less, go MORE!  Instead of letting the overwhelming feelings take away your desire to pray, use them to force you to pray!  Instead of letting the new altered time pressures rob you of time with God, make time with God the first priority so that you handle appropriately the new pressures.  You have to CHOOSE to hang on to the rock of your salvation, to run to your refuge, who is God. 

       I don’t want to ramble too long, but I do want to say some things for those of  you church folks who are willing to be tools God uses to keep those divorced folks close to God.  As a pastor, I have been around way too many struggling marriages, some of which ended in divorce.  I have been amazed many times at how often church friends will conclude that partner or the other is the better Christian, and the divorce is the other person’s fault.  The reason I have been amazed is that, having spent time with the couples in counseling, all too often church friends draw these conclusions based on outward appearances, and I have often thought….”if you only knew what REALLY had happened inside that home.”  So, if you want to help a person divorcing, stay out of it.  And be smart enough to not pass judgment on things you really don’t know for sure.  Don’t decide who is right and who is wrong.  Just let the one you are helping know that you care, that you are still their friend, that you are praying for them (if you really are). 

       The one other bit of advice I’d offer is this.  That divorcing person probably feels pretty awkward, even in church with the closest friends.  So it may be up to YOU to let them know they still are important.  Don’t neglect the person just because you don’t know what to say. That person needs your friendship now more than ever.  Give them a call, take them out to lunch, have them over for a game of Monopoly, send them a card, drop by a pot of soup or plate of cookies….tangibly express your love to them.  They may not come play Monopoly, or you may not hear about your card.  But your caring can have impact….it is something God can use, give God that opportunity.  Just don’t take in your own agenda….that person may need alone time, or to cry, or somebody to sit with at church, or somebody to stay with the kids a few minutes so they can run to the store, or……I don’t know, you are going to have to ask THAT PERSON. 

       And, by the way, you can also let them know this blog exists, and about the book coming out.  I have already seen myself that the blog and book can make a difference for individuals….and part of the purpose IS for you to have a tangible way to help a friend. 

      My heart grieves over the way satan has used divorce and church folks responses to divorce to drive great Christians away from God. Let’s reverse that trend, okay?

TL:dr  it isn’t too long….read it anyway, this one matters

Nursing Home Caregivers are a Special Lot

Greatest People on Earth

  So think I have mentioned that I have an uncle passing in the process of passing away.  I have taken my father out a number of times to see his younger brother, the only sibling he has left.  As we drove away, two things struck me I decided to share.  One was how incredibly hard it must be, because my father has known this brother of his for 91 years, and for much of their lives they lived in the same town.  Great people.  I am truly glad I have known them in my life…..I know that privilege doesn’t happen for everyone in their family situations.

  But what I really wanted to share came from something else.  As we walked in, we chatted with the nurses and aides at the desk, and last night, as we were leaving, a nurse was walking down the hall, and stopped to chat in a very cheery way.  And it made me think that I ought to share some thoughts about these folks.

  You know, these nurses and aides who do all the direct contact work with patients and residents in nursing home facilities are very incredible people.  And I am thinking not only of this place, but others I have been involved with in the past.  Most of them are way underpaid.  Most of them work very long, hard hours.  Most of them do things most of us would never do.  And most of them do all these things while smiling! 

  I pass by residents who are pretty immobile and uncommunicative.  I see others who are rather cantankerous.  And, of course, there are others who are just delightful people if you are willing to take the time to actually talk with this person sitting in a wheelchair.  These committed individuals do that every day of their lives.  And love doing it.  I suppose it is because they know that what they are doing is important.  And that they are doing something for people who desperately need the help.  People whom our society isn’t very good at acknowledging their significance. 

  Well, I don’t want to go one forever, but I do want to say how much I appreciate all these individuals….mostly women here…..do for people I have known in so many different places.  Thanks for their commitment, their caring, their love, and their cheery attitudes which many days must be very  hard to maintain.  I couldn’t do what you do.  Not the way you do it.  And I figure that when all is said and done, there are going to be some extra beautiful heavenly crowns upon their heads.  At least until they cast them down before the feet of Jesus.  Thanks all you nurses and aides….God notices even if nobody else does!

TL:dr  Nursing home caregivers have a special God given talent and ministry.

Talking about Gabby Douglas

Talk about ANYTHING…..well, not Jesus, though.

  So here’s the deal.  My wife loves the internet.  I use it here and there, but would call somebody on the phone long before I’d ever tap into skype……kind of a “crooksosaurus” I guess.  Anyway, the upside of it all is that the other day she told me to check out some articles she had found on the internet about a young girl in the Olympics.  So, I did, and it is a good illustration of an ongoing debate/ battle in our society.

  The articles were about a young gymnast named Gabby Douglas.  Lots to see in these things.  What is really bad, is that I LOVE the gymnastic events, and somehow missed them all……that is really disappointing.  Anyway, so if you missed it, too, then know that 16 year old Gabby won the gold medal in one of the women’s events spectacularly.  Before and after, she acknowledge Christ as her source.  In addition, her parents are in the process of going through a divorce, so that also makes her relevant for us.

  Posted some thoughts on the public witness of folks the other day, here is another example.  The articles she sent me to included three from various places (maybe I ought to post the links below….you can check).  One lady didn’t like the idea of Gabby speaking about God, because it doesn’t fit her image of what God should be like or how Christians should behave.  (So is it okay for some of us to not like how THAT LADY practices HER Christian faith, too, or is it only people like Gabby that are out of bounds?)

  Then there is another person who wrote about the issue of whether Gabby believed God helped her win the gold medal, believing that she does.  Well, of COURSE she does.  In fact, God helped every medalist there to win!  There is air to breathe, right?  They do have brains and muscles that work, right?  It’s just that Gabby is one of those who recognizes that God has done things like that for her, and some others are oblivious to it.

  What may be interesting, and what I suspect will be the case….certainly hope so, (but haven’t seen cause have been pretty tied up of late), is whether she understands that God is her source and help when she loses as well as when she wins.  I hear she didn’t win in another event and was disappointed.   Does that mean God didn’t back her anymore?  Ridiculous! 

  Athletes (and other professions as well who really understand the scriptures), understand that God’s help is for us to be able to be the best person in character that we can be….because the kind of person we are is what God really cares most about.  They also understand that we seek God’s help that we may do our best, and do so in a way that brings HIM glory rather than simply ourselves.  And that what God does through us might be something God can use to make a difference in the lives of others.  These things are true whether it is bouncing around on floor mats, or throwing footballs, or mounting brakes onto cars, or serving in Congress, or writing blogs!  It’s all one and the same, all we do is to be done for the glory of God, to the best of our ability, with the strength and gifts that God provides. 

  So Gabby, keep going.  God is using you, because I don’t even know you, didn’t even see your performance, and yet find that your stand for Christ is being bounced around the internet to somebody like me, thousands of miles away.  Gabby, have fun, enjoy the ride, life is too short to worry too much about all the garbage that comes our way.  And, Gabby, I am sorry you had to go through watching your folks marriage fall apart.  Maybe that will change one day.  But I am glad you have learned already that your life does not have to be limited because of that one event over which you had no control.  You are an example of the fact that God can still do great things through people committed to him, even out of circumstances that don’t seem so good at the time.  (Gee, I wonder if she even reads my blog?  Maybe I should invite her to subscribe!)

TL:dr  Can’t do one sentence, but Gabby Douglas is creating a buzz, and it even landed on MY blog!

A Broken Heart

Oaken Broken Heart!

  One of the most powerful images I experienced in scripture is found several places.  I most noticed it in Psalm 34:18, 147:3 and Isaiah 61:1 (you can look them up yourself if you want to do so).  These texts describe the unique and especially intimate way God cares for a select group of people.  That group of people is those who are broken hearted.  God promises to be near to them, and describes Himself as seeking up bind up and heal their broken hearts.  And that is a huge part of so many experiences in life, especially in divorce.  When a marriage ends like that, there are broken hearts all over the place.  One spouse’s heart may have been broken years before, as they* saw their marriage decay and their spouse fall so far short of what they had hoped and dreamed their marriage would be.  That is usually the person who files.  The one who is filed upon is often surprised, and their heart breaks as they experience this once beloved person turn against them in what feels like betrayal.  And, of course, the children’s hearts break as they see mommy and daddy fighting, crying or struggling.  And the grandparents’ hearts break as they watch their child and grandchildren go through the upheaval and agony of divorce.  Plenty of broken hearts to go around in a divorce.

  But not only in divorce.  Yesterday, I went out to the hospital early to see my 91 year old uncle who has decided it is time to call in hospice and end all the treatments, medicines and therapies.  I took my nearly 93 year old dad in with me to see his brother.  Lots of heartbreak in that room.  In losing a loved one, it is helpful when we see that the individual has lived a full and long life, but the truth is, one is never really ready to let go.  But we have to, ready or not. 

   Hearts break as boyfriends split up from their girlfriends.  Hearts break when long loved pets die.  Hearts break when hopes are dashed by test scores, rejection letters and pink slips from the boss. 

  You can tell already that this topic is dear to my heart (which has had it’s own share of breaks), and so you know it is well covered in the book itself.  But here I want to point out something simple in case you are experiencing some kind of heartbreak in your world.  When your heart is breaking, there is a unique and special opportunity to experience a precious intimacy with God, because in those tender moments, God chooses to draw near to you because of those wounds.  Don’t neglect to embrace those loving arms in the midst of YOUR heartache.

*For those of you who haven’t seen the book, I do explain in it that I DO REALIZE that grammar expects plural nouns to go with plural verbs, and when referring to an individual, we are supposed to use the singular.  But my thing is that I am frustrated that we haven’t developed an effective gender neutral pronoun (calling a person “it” just doesn’t evoke positive responses, unless you are playing tag).  So rather than have somebody ticked that I tried to include women in “him” or men in “she,” I choose to use the plural and let the grammarians pull their hair.  Just so you know.

TL:dr When our hearts are broken, God is near if we look to sense His presence. 

The Eternal Olympics

The Eternal Olympics!

Have you been watching the Olympics?  I always watch bits and pieces.  You know, selected events that I enjoy.  I saw some of the opening ceremony the other night.  Frankly, I’m not a big fan of all that hoopla, turning something that is supposed to be a special event about supposedly amateur competitions between athletes, not a venue for entertainers and producers.  So for me, the highlight that night was the parade of nations, where the competing athletes proudly walk sporting their national costume and flags.  I am always especially impressed by those countries that can only send 3 or 4 to the competition…..and there were several of those this year.  Anyway, I guess other folks think all the other fanfare is important, too……just not to me. 

  So during one of the swimming events, there was a commercial (I don’t recall who, but think it was Citi) in which all these individuals are talking about all the things they DIDN’T do over the last year.  One says he missed the hit movie, another hasn’t read the latest best seller, another hadn’t ordered dessert for a year….that sort of thing.  And, of course, all of them have one thing in common:  they were working instead to get ready to be able to compete in the Olympic games.  Kind of a cool commercial, I thought. 

  But there is one Bible verse that I always think of at times like this.  It is found in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.  Paul, too, was familiar with athletic competitions……there were hippodromes and stadiums and coliseums all dedicated to athletic competitions during Paul’s day, and he uses that familiarity in this passage.  He tells us that all these athletes (like these we see today) work hard to discipline themselves and prepare themselves for the day of competition.  The same thing the commercial explains….the discipline of leaving some things aside in order to be able to focus on the goal of winning the prize…..today, a gold medal, in Paul’s day, a laurel perhaps.  In fact, Paul points out they are seeking the prize, and prepare accordingly.  But then, he goes on to point out that the prize they are seeking is perishable, but as Christians, we are pursuing an eternal prize.  He ends with the challenge to make sure we are as disciplined in our pursuit of the eternal prize as those athletes are in their preparation for their events.

  So what is YOUR answer?  Think about those athletes in the commercial, and all the things they gave up to focus on Olympic preparation.  Do you approach your Christian faith with the same dedication and effort?  I wonder about this a lot as I pass health clubs and see people working out to build their bodies, or observe them out walking and jogging for the same purpose….but don’t see them taking the same kind of disciplined care of their souls in church or scripture.  I wonder what the churches in our country would be like if those attending put in the same kind of discipline and effort into the spiritual lives and ministries as the Olympic athletes do for their big events.  Or, more to a point, how would YOUR life, or MINE, be different if either of us put forth that discipline and effort?  How about finding out?  Don’t just go for the gold….it is destined to perish…..go for that eternal crown  in glory!

TL:dr  The Olympic athletes set a great example and challenge for we Christians in our pursuit of spiritual greatness.