With God, Grief is Never the End of the Story

PART TWO:  LOSS CAN HURT, BUT…THE FLIP SIDE IS

There is an interesting statement of Jesus related to loss found in John 12:24, which the New American Standard renders this way:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

He is primarily speaking prophetically about his own death, then resurrection resulting in the opportunity for salvation for so many, but it is such an apt presentation of the experience of loss, grief and moving on.   

I like marigolds.  But I know the little orange blossoms wither away, but turn into seeds that then produce far more blossoms than the one from which the seeds came.  

Loss and mourning are like that, too.

The process of divorce, and many other aspects of life, does confront us with the realities of loss, as I mentioned in the last blog.  But the story does not end there.  In case you haven’t seen them, the two volumes of Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce are divided by seasons, with the first volume represented by Fall and Winter, and the second volume represented by Spring and Summer.  The cover of the first volume is stark, barren and cold looking, representing the difficult days of divorce and the losses entailed in it.  But to only read that volume is to only focus on loss as in the first half of Jesus’ statement, that something has died.  But volume two is bright green, verdant and bursting with new life.  That, too is part of the process of divorce, the aftermath in which life starts afresh, and new opportunities and beauty arise that could not have done so without first experiencing loss, which is the second half of Jesus’ saying.

The other day my wife and I were talking, and in the course of the conversation, she referred to some of the things we have experienced in this marriage that was simply not part of her first marriage.  That got me to thinking with amazement at all the things that have blossomed in my life after the loss of the first marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, the loss was real, and the grief was real, and there are some things that have been dramatically impacted negatively in that experience.  HOWEVER, just like the two volumes of the book set, that isn’t the whole story.  

There have been opportunities come my way that are part of a drastically different new chapter in life.  There have been joys and amazements that resound that hope outlives loss, as new blossoms have come into my life.  My wife and I have had incredible opportunities to travel that we did not know before.  I have developed some long distance ministry relationships with people I have never met through this little blog.  I had the privilege of several special years of close fellowship with my parents at the end of their lives.  I have gotten to see the rebirth of some aspects of my personality that lay dormant during my first marriage.  With my new wife, I have known a new kind of love in our marriage relationship.  None of this is as a slam against the first marriage, but all of these things came into being in the aftermath of the loss of that marriage.  

Rebirth is possible.  New horizons come into view.  Pathways previously unseen emerge and beckon.  Life can be fresh and new. 

It may or may not entail a new marriage, God may have a completely different way of bringing renewal into your sorrow, but it will always mean new life and hope.

It is important to mourn and grieve when loss impact us deeply.  But as Paul says in Thessalonians, we don’t grieve as do those who have no hope.  Hope transcends our grief.  Today and tomorrow are not bound by yesterday’s loss, but are full of eternity’s promise.  As a friend of mine told me many years ago:  there IS life after divorce!  The same is true for any of life’s losses.  Because with God, grief is NEVER the end of the story!  The scriptures promise that weeping is but for a night and joy comes in the morning, that mourning will be turned into dancing as the oil of gladness is poured out, and that the day will come when every tear shall be wiped away from our eyes.  In the story of the raising of Lazarus, Martha hears Jesus speak of this kind of hope, and assumed he means only for the end of time.  But Jesus surprises her by bringing new life to her brother right then and there!

If you are struggling with the experience of loss (even if it is the loss of a baseball card collection!), look around for the new growth that God has planted in your life.  Watch for and celebrate the blossoms that follow the loss of the seeds.  Recognize, in fact, that so many of the loss experiences in our lives are exactly that:  seeds for something beautiful in the next part of the journey!  Don’t mourn the withered blossom so long that you cannot see the beauty of the flowers that arise in its place.  God promises the desert shall one day blossom!

The Destruction in Moore reminds me of divorce because...

Can You Believe the Devastation?

I grew up in the Midwest.  I have heard lots of tornado warning sirens through the years.  I have seen the aftermath of tornadoes up close.  But I have never actually seen a tornado, except one in the sky a few miles off, that hadn't quite touched down yet and was heading elsewhere.  One of the daughters told a story about a time she was at school in North Carolina under a tornado watch, and they were going around telling everybody they had to go to the basement.  She looked out the window and replied, “I’m not going to the basement yet.  This is the time back home when we go outside to see if we can see any forming.”  And she is right.  I remember several times walking the sidewalk out front with her searching the skies to see if we could locate any possible tornado clouds.  But we never did, except the one I mentioned above.  And that is just as well, actually…they are not something one really wants to see up close…not like those folks in Oklahoma this week.  I do think it would be exciting to be a storm chaser/spotter, though.  Maybe someday.

Our hearts surely go out to those folks picking up the pieces of their lives.  I have seen first hand what it looks like right afterwards, and have helped gather pieces of people’s lives.  The folks in Moore have their work cut out for them.  And from the interviews I have heard, have a great attitude that will help them through; and they seem so appreciative of any help that is offered, as I’m sure many of us will. 

Every time I see the destruction of a tornado, it also makes me think of divorce.  I am struck by the parallels between the visible devastation of a tornado and the invisible devastation of a divorce.  All those people displaced from their homes…by a tornado or by the papers filed at court.  As people emerge from the tornado shelters, they look around and feel like their lives have just been shattered, just as many do who walk out of court with a divorce decree in hand.  As I look at the tornado’s path, I see all those memories, mementos and possessions scattered far and wide, many never to be recovered.  Possessions and mementos are lost in divorce, as well, sometimes in the possession of the ex, sometimes lost in the upheaval of hurried packing, sometimes destroyed by an angry spouse.  The people in Moore are being asked what they will do, where they will go, whether they will rebuild there in Moore.  The same questions every divorced person asks inside.  The same decisions have to be made, albeit without the help of insurance coverage or disaster relief assistance.  Most of the people interviewed in Oklahoma indicated they would rebuild their homes, start again.  But it will never be the same when rebuilt.  The doorpost that has the children’s height marked on it won’t be in the new home, the old familiar walls are gone forever.  After a divorce, one has to start rebuilding as well, rebuilding a life, maybe a career, probably rebuilding their ability to trust, definitely rebuilding a future.   And many things are lost forever, never to be the same again.  People will gather round to support and help the tornado victims in Moore.  Sometimes people do the same for victims of divorce, but not often enough.  I was very blessed with caring people during my rebuilding process, but many go through that pain all alone.

If you have been divorced, I am telling you nothing new.  If you have not, I invite you to view the pictures of Oklahoma with a double perspective.  See the people and destruction there on the ground, but then also recognize that similar destruction has come to the one you know who is divorcing or divorced.  As your heart feels with sadness for the loss the tornado victims have suffered, and you experience compassion as you seek to find a way to help, let some of that sadness spill over to those whose marriages have died, and your compassion cause you to consider that they, too, might need your encouragement and help. 

Would I rather have gone through a tornado or a divorce?  I’m not sure, especially now that I am years down the road in a new marriage I find very fulfilling.  But if I was in a situation where I had a choice, I wonder if I might not have chosen to experience a tornado over a divorce.  Because during my divorce I recall saying to a friend as I was sorting out household possessions, “It’s just stuff.  What really matters most to me has already been destroyed.”  And yet, as my new marriage proves, just as those folks in Moore will rebuild and move on, so it is possible after a divorce to rebuild a meaningful life and move on into something good.  But both require a lot of faith and a lot of work.

TL:dr  There are significant parallels between the destruction of a tornado and the destruction of a divorce.

The Christian and the Olympics..another story

Olympics one more time…….

So did you hear the story on KLOVE about the David Boudia, winner of a Bronze Medal at the Olympics this year.  You can hear it if you want by going to the following link:

http://www.klove.com/news/view-category.aspx?id=13

Seems he was in the Olympics 4 years ago to compete, but between then and now was led to Christ by his coach at Purdue.  He now realizes that the bronze medal he has won is just temporary, and that what really matters is that his life glorifies God.  He is a diver, and his event was the men’s synchronized 10-meter platform event.  I’m not sure of all the events, but think that is the same as the women’s event I saw some of the other day. 

It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?  We seem to be hearing lots of stories these days about Christian athletes, and most of them are pretty good about giving credit to God, and making sure to emphasize that it isn’t all about winning.  The news media seems never quite sure what to do with these things.   Like the whole “Tebow” items……..now they talk about people “tebowing.”  (If you don’t know much about it, he plays for the Denver Broncos, and publicly kneels to give God thanks, while also being a positive influence on his teammates.  Kind of funny, the news media calls it “tebowing” as if it is something new.  It is only new to them.  Jewish folks and Christians have known of the act for years…..we call it, bowing our heads, kneeling, bending the knee, prostrating oneself…….all of which simply means to put oneself into a humble posture before a God who is greater than we are. 

We do need to be praying for these folks.  They face plenty of ridicule for their stands for Christ, and they do have unique opportunities to speak out for Jesus.  It may not be everybody’s way of doing things, but anything that sets an example is a good thing.

TL:dr  We need to be praying for those who speak for Christ in a culture that doesn’t always agree with what many Christians believe.

Pennies from Heaven!

Laughing with God….aka…..Pennies from Heaven!

Do you believe God has a sense of humor?  I do.  I have seen it lots of times in my life and ministry.  So I have had some pretty funny experiences, lately.  At least, I think the are funny.  Let me set the stage.  We moved in recent years to our new location because we felt God was leading us to do that so as to be available to assist my aging parents.   And we felt pretty confident that it was God leading……have seen multiple confirmations over the passing months.  Additionally, over the last year, I have taken to going on early morning walks, several miles, brisk pace, partly for the sake of the dog’s bladder,  and partly to get this old body of mine into some kind of physical condition.  (And no, they didn’t invite me to try out for the Olympics.)  The other tidbit that is important to the context is that in our Bible study group, we were reviewing the Exodus story, noting especially how God provided for His people during the tough wilderness times of their lives and journey.  Now, to the story:

As many folks are during this tough economic climate, we have to watch pennies pretty closely, and some months things get awfully tight.  I handle much of the financial work in our family, and so, when bills mount up, I especially feel it.  (That, and my wife probably has greater faith than I do in these matters……but that’s another story, too---see the book.)  Anyway, a couple of months ago was out walking the dog about 5:30 in morning, headed on my usual route, and talking with God as we walked.  Since bills were awaiting my return, money was on my mind, and so I was raising the idea that since we were here doing what we felt God had led, surely He would look after the financial aspect of things for us, too….but that I wished it would happen a bit more speedily or in ways other than I was experiencing.  And preferably it should happen before the due date of the bills!  The story of manna from heaven was fresh in my mind, if not actually part of the conversation with God. 

So walking along, just having finished that conversation with God, I happened to glance down to see a shiny nickel laying on the ground.   As I picked it up, I felt as if God was laughing with me and saying, “See, I could drop money to the ground in front of you just as I did the manna for the Israelites when they were going through their wilderness time.”  I laughed, but responded, “yeah, but it’s going to take more than just a few nickels for some of those bills!”  Walking further on…..about a mile or two down the road…….happened to glance down to see a dollar bill on the ground!  I really laughed as I picked it up.  I figure God was, too.  Although, I was also aware the bills needed more than a dollar bill, too.

Time passes, bills get paid one way or another, life goes on.  Another morning the other day.  Same route.  Same dog.  Another month of bills.  Same prayers.   But then, realizing that I wouldn’t have the usual amount of time, I changed my course a bit.  Know what happened?  Sure enough, found money on the ground again.  I took it to mean that God was reminding me He was still around, still aware, still able and willing to provide.  But this time, it was a five dollar bill!!  I laughed.  God probably guffawed at me……if that isn’t too unholy of a thing to do!  Better, I think, but still, not very many bills are only five dollars, are they?  But my little brain is running the numbers…..first a nickel, then a dollar which is twenty times greater, then a five dollar bill which is five times greater……maybe a 50 next, then, who knows?

A couple of days later, still dealing with the monthly bills, still chuckling about the five and God’s little jokes.  Out with the dogs again, but this time, had finished the walk with my wife’s dog, and had my older dog on her shorter route, over by the railroad tracks.  Happen to see a cosmetic case sort of thing laying on the ground….maybe a kid had been playing.  Started to go on, and then thought, maybe I better see what that is, since it was such an odd thing to be in such an odd place.  Pick it up and open it, see a social security card, and realize it is not a makeup case, but some lady’s wallet thingy (a clutch or some such thing).  Figure she must have dropped it, or it had gotten stolen.  Kind of glanced through it a bit to see if there was a driver’s license or something with an address, cause I assume she lives close by.  Don’t find it, just the social security card, the library card, a few credit cards, so decide not to dig too much, and just ran it by the police station later.  Figure they can get the address from the library or something if it isn’t somewhere else in the wallet. 

Are you ahead of me yet?  First a nickel, then a dollar, then a five……now, CREDIT CARDS!!!!   Isn’t God good?  Except I don’t think it was His name on the cards.  And, I took them by the police before I even THOUGHT of using them…..which I wouldn’t have anyway. 

So here’s the deal.  Remember Philippians 4:19…God supplying the needs, or Ephesians 3:20….God doing beyond our imaginations?  Well, I’m kind of figuring I need to keep my eyes open on the upcoming walks.  Expecting maybe some negotiable bearer bonds or T-bills or something.  I’ll let you know.  (Although, Publisher’s Clearing House does keep telling me that I am DEFINITELY in the running…..)

TL:dr   God can teach us important lessons in funny ways as he meets our needs. 

The Eternal Olympics

The Eternal Olympics!

Have you been watching the Olympics?  I always watch bits and pieces.  You know, selected events that I enjoy.  I saw some of the opening ceremony the other night.  Frankly, I’m not a big fan of all that hoopla, turning something that is supposed to be a special event about supposedly amateur competitions between athletes, not a venue for entertainers and producers.  So for me, the highlight that night was the parade of nations, where the competing athletes proudly walk sporting their national costume and flags.  I am always especially impressed by those countries that can only send 3 or 4 to the competition…..and there were several of those this year.  Anyway, I guess other folks think all the other fanfare is important, too……just not to me. 

  So during one of the swimming events, there was a commercial (I don’t recall who, but think it was Citi) in which all these individuals are talking about all the things they DIDN’T do over the last year.  One says he missed the hit movie, another hasn’t read the latest best seller, another hadn’t ordered dessert for a year….that sort of thing.  And, of course, all of them have one thing in common:  they were working instead to get ready to be able to compete in the Olympic games.  Kind of a cool commercial, I thought. 

  But there is one Bible verse that I always think of at times like this.  It is found in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.  Paul, too, was familiar with athletic competitions……there were hippodromes and stadiums and coliseums all dedicated to athletic competitions during Paul’s day, and he uses that familiarity in this passage.  He tells us that all these athletes (like these we see today) work hard to discipline themselves and prepare themselves for the day of competition.  The same thing the commercial explains….the discipline of leaving some things aside in order to be able to focus on the goal of winning the prize…..today, a gold medal, in Paul’s day, a laurel perhaps.  In fact, Paul points out they are seeking the prize, and prepare accordingly.  But then, he goes on to point out that the prize they are seeking is perishable, but as Christians, we are pursuing an eternal prize.  He ends with the challenge to make sure we are as disciplined in our pursuit of the eternal prize as those athletes are in their preparation for their events.

  So what is YOUR answer?  Think about those athletes in the commercial, and all the things they gave up to focus on Olympic preparation.  Do you approach your Christian faith with the same dedication and effort?  I wonder about this a lot as I pass health clubs and see people working out to build their bodies, or observe them out walking and jogging for the same purpose….but don’t see them taking the same kind of disciplined care of their souls in church or scripture.  I wonder what the churches in our country would be like if those attending put in the same kind of discipline and effort into the spiritual lives and ministries as the Olympic athletes do for their big events.  Or, more to a point, how would YOUR life, or MINE, be different if either of us put forth that discipline and effort?  How about finding out?  Don’t just go for the gold….it is destined to perish…..go for that eternal crown  in glory!

TL:dr  The Olympic athletes set a great example and challenge for we Christians in our pursuit of spiritual greatness.

Water the goodness in your heart!

We are in Kansas, which is one of many states in drought conditions.  We have watered bushes, tomato plants, roses, flowers, trees…..the plant kingdom around here is simply not very happy.  You really see it with all the brown stalks in the cornfields.  Told somebody I’m just going to plant cactus next year!  Anyway, as I rode my bike up to the house the other day, it occurred to me that the weeds didn’t seem to mind the drought at all…..they are doing just fine!  Seems to me there’s a lesson in that.  When in drought times of your life…..such as a divorce…..it is critical that you carefully water and nurture the good plantings in your heart, because the weeds will grow freely if you don’t.  I pulled a bunch of weeds out of the strawberry patch yesterday…..maybe you need to pull a few out of your heart.  Seems to me somebody once gave a parable about the importance of tending the soil of your heart……..Mark 4 maybe?  Just a thought.  

Somebody wishes they had this……..

  

Well, been visiting with a few friends and acquaintances the last couple of days.  Received some comments regarding the way that the blog is being shared and as they surprised me I thought I would share them.  

I received a comment from a friend that told me of a relative who is reading my blogs and about the book and, apparently is passing the info along to friends they know who are struggling.  That relative had been divorced years ago, and had commented that he/she wished something like this had been available during his/her divorce.  Which is EXACTLY why I have been writing what I have…..especially the book.  Several divorced folks lately have indicated their agreement with me that there is such a dearth of material like this available to help Christian folks through times of divorce.  Hopefully, my musings can help fill that gap for those folks somewhat.  Believe me, when you are experiencing the tumult of divorce, you are desperately hungry for something like this to help you through it. 

Another friend who has pretty much read the whole book while dealing with his divorce made what I thought was a good observation.  He said that it wasn’t so much that I offered all the answers and solutions (I don’t), as it was that in reading the devotions in the book, he really appreciated the way it helped him realize that what felt so bizarre to him actually was something shared by others going through divorce, that it was kind of “normal,” and that made him feel less alone and a bit reassured……especially since he knows me well enough to know I have made it through.  He also says he appreciated that I shared how I wrestled with the issues…..that he may not come to the same solutions, but it helped him as he was sorting things out for himself.  Just so you know.

And then, another person told me that she had shared with her pastor one of the blog entries that related specifically to the experience of divorce.  When she did, she said he commented that the post was actually pretty helpful to him, that it really did fit well with his experiences pastoring folks who were going through divorce.  He also said it helped him have a better sense of what those folks must be going through.  Which was echoed by another friend who has also already read the book.  She told me she believes every pastor ought to read this book, because, not being divorced herself, she feels like it so helped her understand better what divorcing people are going through, and made her more sensitive to their struggles.  Actually, have heard that a couple of times.

But the truth is, it only gives a hint at the experience.  I remember at my first church, when as a young pastor I was trying to help people in the midst of divorce, how it was hard for me to understand it very well.  I did try.   But when I went through my divorce, I realized how little I truly comprehended.  It is an indescribable experience.  But it is my hope that sharing some of it as best I can, may help someone reading it to be just a little better in their encouragement and ministry to the divorced people around them.  That is why I have asked that you pass the link along to others, because somewhere down the line there is somebody who needs the encouragement and hope they can find through these little reflections.

There is one other story….but that is for another blog.  My wife says you will really get a kick out of……….maybe tomorrow……

P.S.  If you have some extra rain where you live, we’d appreciate you sending some of it our way……

TL:DR  Hard times are opportunities for bad habits to take root in our lives.  And some stories to share.

Stagnant Water is NOT God’s plan! - Even during a drought...

I heard from an individual who reads the blog that she was talking with another person who visits the blog.  That second person….call him FRED…was receiving the notices, but wasn’t sure why he was getting them……until the day God showed him why.  At this point, I didn’t receive the whole story in detail, but the nutshell is that Fred has a relative whose close friend (I think) was having a rough time with a divorce filed against them.  So Fred passed along the site to the relative, so it could be shared with the friend. 

I want to challenge you to consider that God has a purpose in you reading this blog as well.  Maybe you are not getting divorced, and maybe you don’t even know somebody who is getting divorced with whom you can share the material.  But maybe, like Fred, somebody you know is aware of somebody who is desperately need of this kind of hope.  And maybe, like Fred, you don’t even realize it.   Kind of like that whole “six degrees of separation” thing.  What can you do?

It is my hope and prayer that the materials I have put together get to the hands and hearts of those who really need it.  But I cannot do that without your help.  If you feel this site has something worth reading now and then, I want to suggest that you recommend it to several of your friends by sending them the link and telling them about it.  Those friends of yours may be the ones who know somebody who NEEDS to know about this blog and my little book.  Or maybe it will be their friends who knows that person.  But God knows even now the ones He desires to reach with His love through this ministry. 

Ah, but like my friend, you may feel like the blog is good for you, and that maybe God is trying to speak to YOU.  Well, that may well be, I would never question that.  But in my experience, God rarely touches people just for our own sake.  Instead, he gives these things to us so that we can pass them along to others in need.  So that He can use us.  Paul expresses this very notion in 2 Corinthians 1:1-5 where he indicates that the comfort God gives us, God wants to use to comfort others THROUGH us!  Somebody once said we are meant to be conduits of God’s love and grace, not cisterns.  I want to ask you directly to intentionally make yourself that conduit…..pass along the link.  Who knows what might happen. 

TL:DR  God may have placed people within your circle who either need to know about this blog site, or who know somebody else who needs to know about it.  Our job is to pass it on.

The Value of Feedback

Got a few emails from blog readers recently, and wanted to share some things that struck me as I read over them.  And, by the way, it is always good to hear feedback from you readers…..both encouragement and suggestions are always appreciated. 

Anyway, there were four emails in particular that caused me to reflect.  One was from a young fellow in ministry, who is happily married.  In his case, he didn’t feel the need to connect with this blog, because it wasn’t relevant for his life.  I am very pleased that is the case, it implies his marriage is sound and things are going well…..and that is always good. 

The second email was from a pastor who has long been retired, and his comment was that in reading through the posts, he has learned a lot about what it must be like to have to go through a divorce.  That made him appreciate the many faithful years he and his wife have had in marriage, and all the things he was spared by not having experienced divorce.  But, interestingly enough, he also observed parallels between the divorce experience and other life experiences of separations, losses and fresh starts, and applied what he read to those situations.

The third email was from the wife of a pastor who has been in ministry many years.  They, too, are happily married and have been for many years.  She tells me that reading the blog has given her an awareness about these things that will impact her interactions with people divorcing, that she anticipates being more sensitive, more patient……other things. 

All of that is kind of the point of the whole thing.  If you are not divorced or connected with someone who is divorcing, then much of this may not apply to your life at all.  On the other hand, like the second person, it may help you appreciate what you DO have in your life, and there may be lessons that apply in other areas of your life.  OR…..and this is my favorite……if you are not directly impacted with divorce, the blog and book may help you understand better the great struggle that divorcing people often experience.  These may give you tools and sensitivity to be an effective friend and support for struggling friends.  Additionally, it gives you something you can refer your friends to for their own participation or benefit……encourage them to download the book (still working out details on the paper copy…will let you know), or send them the link to the blog.  They don’t have to be alone.

And then, there is the fourth email.  It was from a woman who is a widow.  She has found that much of the material in the book and on the blog can easily be adapted to the experiences she has had in her widowhood.  Perhaps you, too, have areas in your life that can be enhanced and enriched through these contacts.  Well, whatever your track you fit into, thanks for reading!

TL:DR  People have found varying usefulness to the things shared in the blog, whether divorced or not.  It all depends on one’s perspective.

God all around us

Know right now, I am NOT an ornithologist.  Not even a bird watcher.  Not really.  But I do notice them.  Remember that old song, “May the Bluebird of Happiness Fly Up Your Nose,”……..no, better not go there.  Nonetheless, while the wife and I were down at the lake, we were wandering toward the shore from the cabin, and happened across a bluebird that appeared to me to be rather young, which may account for what we noticed.  Didn’t look like the bluebirds I have seen before…..but it never turned to face us, so I didn’t get a front view.  It was puttering around on the ground about 5 yards from us…..not sure what it was looking for, but it was just kind of wandering around there.  My wife commented, and I agreed, that it was about the brightest blue she had ever seen in a bluebird.  It really was.  Almost iridescent…..and the bluebird probably doesn’t even know what that word means!  Kind of a cool serendipity sort of moment.  We stood and watched it until it finally flew away.  Really striking.

One of my favorite quotes was written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.  It goes like this:

                     “Earth's crammed with heaven,
                     But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
                    The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”

That bird was a good example.  All around us, every day, there are sights, sounds and moments of wonder and beauty, if we will stop to look and take off our shoes, instead of gorging ourselves with the blackberries.  That was a pretty cool moment for me, probably for us, but definitely for me.  I also got a kick out of the little fish that would come and eat what we had stirred up on the rocks by the shore with our feet…..even getting within an inch of my toes to get to whatever it was as they flitted around in the water.  Fish are fast, you know that?  Well, hope you have some moments today. I plan on doing so.

TL:DR  A chance encounter with a beautiful bluebird reminds us that there are special touches of God all around us if we look to see them.

Wow!  It has finally happened.  For quite some time now, I have had a dream of putting together the devotional book Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce.  Divorce can be one of the toughest experiences a person can go through, and the stresses it creates can be tremendous.  All too often these days we hear of a divorced spouse finding their way into the house of their ex, or kidnapping the children, and it all ending up in tragic deaths through murder and suicide.  Divorce can literally be so hard that people would rather die!

In my experience, the church has not done too good of a job at helping people caught up in this struggle.  In fact, all too often, all these folks hear from the people at church is that divorce is wrong, and that if they were right with God they wouldn’t have these problems, along with lots of other condemning and, frankly, pretty self righteous comments.  At a time when a person most needs the kind of love a church can offer, ostracism and rejection is the experience instead.  Or, perhaps even worse, the awkwardness of silence, as nobody quite knows what to say or do as a marriage dissolves before their eyes.

It is my hope that this devotional book will be something to fill that void, and to let divorcing folks know that God DOES care, and that God CAN help, and that God WILL speak to them.  It has taken me literally years to pull together the things I have learned and get them down in writing.   I am thrilled that it is finally down and available for folks who desperately need to know God’s care for their lives through the stormy time of divorce.  I hope that this resource can be something Christian pastors and friends can use to help their struggling friends. 

This first volume…..Fall and Winter…..deals with the times of devastation as the divorce process begins and things become difficult and uncertain.  The second volume…..which is nearing completion now……deals with Spring and Summer, the times when one starts to put life back together after the marriage is over, and begins to find new paths for life.

I look forward to hearing the ways God uses these words to help people in need of a kind word from God in a stressful time of life.