Your
Church: Welcoming or Rejecting?
So, last
night my participation in the radio panel out in San Francisco expanded from the original half
hour to will over an hour. What a privilege, to be able to try to reach people
with the message about the church’s need for compassion and sensitivity toward
those whose lives have suffered the devastation of divorce. The panel consisted of a San Francisco
Pastor, a Court Mediator, A Christian Therapist for the first half hour, and
then I came in a half hour in and the Therapist had to sign off. If you didn't get to hear it, it is available
as a podcast linked here on the blog.
Click on the link for the January 15th show.
However, I’d like to address a couple of things that came up.
The first was raised by the pastor. His
theology of divorce is that if married couples lived 100% committed to Christ,
there would be a 0% divorce rate, and so the main thing couples need to do is
to humbly get right with Christ.
Secondly, he believes the scriptures teach that divorce isn't really
allowed, except as a last resort in cases of adultery or abandonment, and that
after you are divorced, you are to remain unmarried the rest of your life
unless you reconcile. This raises all
sorts of things, including why my book is needed.
This pastor seemed a relatively kind fellow,
and to have good intentions and probably has a good church and ministry out
there, I don’t know. But he clearly doesn't understand how the very things he says creates barriers between himself
and Christians caught in the garbage of divorce….even though he says there is
forgiveness in Christ and that divorced people would be welcome at his church
without judgment. The way he stated the part about fully committed to Christ
solving marriage problems implies right off the bat that if you are divorced,
then you are not as good a Christian as he and the other Christians are who are
still married. The logic is sadly
faulty. A few illustrations will show
you why. If Christians were 100%
committed, there would be no gossip in the church, either. Nor would there be church splits. Nor would there be the kind of pride that
permits one Christian to look down upon another who thinks differently. If you read Proverbs 6:16-19, or Romans 1:29-30
you will discover that God hates these things, too….but many Christians with
the pastor’s attitude choose to focus on God’s hatred of divorce and neglect
these areas. They draw distinctions,
because as we have all seen, people who are prideful, people who gossip, people
who have stirred up church troubles can still end up being leaders in their
churches….but not the divorced. Because
whether it is directly said or not, divorced Christians are often treated as
second class Christians, while any other shortcomings are forgiven and
forgotten. Fortunately for us, God doesn't operate that way, just some of His people.
Secondly, the “biblical” perspective he gave
is certainly one of the interpretations of the Bible’s teachings about
divorce. But it is not the ONLY
one. In fact, as a conservative
commentary I was reading just yesterday pointed out, from the earliest days of
the Reformation, a great many Protestants have understood the scriptures to
allow remarriage….yet this individual does not.
It sounds like he represents the only biblical position, yet his view
flies in the face of some pretty heavy weight biblical scholars, from Augustine
to Erasmus, Luther and more.
I’ll put together a blog later that can show
you the various biblical interpretations on the topic, there are four. If you are divorced, you become very sensitized
to which view people at your church believe, and whether or not they realize
there is more than one way to understand those scriptures. And if you aren't divorced, you need to know
how you present your interpretation makes a difference, and that there ARE
other CHRISTIAN points of view. So,
enjoy the podcast if you listen to it. I
was honored to be part of the broadcast, and grateful for the opportunity given
to me by Craig Roberts and the Lifeline program.
TL:dr Review of the broadcast shows how little
things can reflect lack of understanding for divorced, intentional or not, thus
driving them away from Christ and the church.
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