(Note: I write this specifically of divorce, but
many of the things I describe apply to life situations such as a loss of job,
death of a loved one or facing any of a multitude of life’s extreme
difficulties, so feel free to apply the principles to whatever challenges YOU
face.)
I had someone ask a question recently that, as time as
passed, I realize is actually a pretty good question. To get to the point of the article (and the
title), you are going to have to bear with a bit of explanation first. The individual was discussing my book, Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce,
and asked me why I decided to write it as a devotional book. In case you haven’t seen it yet, Finding God is laid out as a daily
devotional, with scripture readings and special readings for holidays, and the
devotionals are divided into four “seasons” related to the divorce
experience. The first volume has
Autumn and Winter, when things are falling apart and look very bleak in the
process of divorce, and the second volume (at the publishers now) is Spring
and Summer, when hope starts to come back and you start to discover how to live
your life in this new reality. The devotional has scriptures from almost every book in the Bible, the topics cover everything
from dealing with attorneys to depression to finances to children’s
schedules….all the stuff that goes with divorce. So the individual actually had looked over a
copy of the book, and yet asked why I wrote in devotional format. I realize there is actually an important
answer or two to that, and those answers could also be helpful for lots of
other areas of our lives, so I will share the answers as my stepping stone into
today’s topic.
My first answer was that it was, in part, because I
like devotional books myself, and am kind of a devotional junkie. Then I added something about how so much of
the supporting help out there is in the form of a once a week setting, and you
are left on your own the rest of the week.
And I think I mentioned that Christians often face not only the feelings
of stress and failure in the divorce, but also can find ostracism from other
Christians and maybe even wonder if God still cares. As a result, many divorcing Christians end up
leaving their church, and some even abandon God. And so the purpose of the book is to provide
something that can walk with the person day by day as they go through the
struggle, and help them discover the scriptures that assure them of God’s role in
their lives, hopefully helping them keep on track. But the core answer to the question is
actually none of those things, and yet all of those things. The core answer is this: Finding
God in the Seasons of Divorce is written in devotional book format because
divorce is a tough and confusing experience, sometimes even devastating, and is
thus the perfect time to learn how to experience God’s help and guidance and an
important time to lean on God. In fact,
I believe it is critical that we build that connection, because the temptations
and the choices are many, while the process is emotionally and physically draining, that it can
really lead a person to do very foolish or destructive things. It is a critical time to make the wisest
choices possible, realizing, of course that we all make mistakes as we
struggle.
So my belief and purpose in this regard is to provide
some reflections that can help readers tap into the resource that God is in our
lives. Many places in the Bible God
invites us to come before Him to find strength and help, to look to Him for
guidance and correction, to know that God is with us in all the trials of life
and desires we look to Him for the meeting of ours life’s needs, to let Him be
a refuge and protector for us, to confess our shortcomings and sins that we may
know His forgiveness and mercy…and every one of those concerns are often
desperately needed by individuals wrestling with divorce…especially those whose
divorce is a result of an abandoning spouse.
In some cases, the situation can become so overwhelming as to create
despair and the episodes of suicide and rage we so often tragically see in the
news. God can help us navigate the
treacherous waters that dash against our lives, and keep us from crashing
against the rocks. But we must
trust. And we must be open to God’s
voice. And we must be diligent to seek
Him.
Too many times I have known of individuals who end up
divorced (whether their choice or not) and lose their faith in God. They may even turn
away from the church, (and quite possibly turned away from the church) and some who even
abandon the ministry to which they were called. I have personally known and seen good church and Christian leaders end up knocked so off balance that they fall away or fall apart in
bitterness, disappointment or depression.
Many question the place of God in the midst of their turmoil. And though many find their way back into
church…often a different church…many do not.
I believe the
best prevention, the best restoration, the best source of strength and wisdom
in the midst of this upheaval is tapping into the help of God. To do so requires our attention to what God
has taught, it requires time before Him, and it helps to hear the
encouragements of others who have faced similar struggles. Many of the scriptures in my devotionals are
scriptures God used to give me strength when I was the one who so desperately needed it. I include passages that have offered me hope
when I felt no hope, or called me to see beyond the circumstances to the God
who dwells above the circumstances and can carry us through them. The writings I have included are not so much
to tell the reader how to think or explain everything I have learned about God,
as they are to help the readers who are searching for their own answers and
want some outside perspective to help guide their search. I believe God’s heart is broken each time a
marriage falls apart, but then breaks even further when the divorcing person
allows the experience to turn him/her AWAY from God instead of TOWARD Him. God has much to offer those who struggle, as
scriptures describe God as being near the brokenhearted, the outcast, the weak,
the fearful. I want to encourage each
reader to let God speak to you in the hard times of your life. And my hope is that my book or my writings
can help you experience His touch in some particular way that may be the very
way God seeks to touch your life just now.
Your own strength can only carry you so far. God’s strength in us will carry us through to
victory!
TL:dr: Let the strength of God be your source for the endurance of your difficulties.
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