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Thursday, May 9, 2013

Helping your friend...who is divorced, on Mother's Day


Top Ten Tips to Help a Divorced Friend on Her First Divorced Mother’s Day

1)     Don’t be surprised if you don’t see her in church……it is hard enough without seeing lots of couples and hearing more stories than you want to hear.

2)    Odds are she will have her kids with her, but may not have the funds to go out to dinner…if you have funds, how about sending her a restaurant gift card?

3)    If her kids are young, somebody may need to do for them what dad used to, helping them shop or making a project for mom.  You could be that somebody (although, there are some of us dads who still make sure the kids have funds for Mother’s Day for our ex….so don’t assume.)

4)    If you have a close friendship, you may want to find a way to offer a bit of the pampering she may have experienced (or should have) on past Mother’s Days:  hire a teenager to clean house for her, send a gift certificate for a massage, that kind of thing.

5)    Give her a call, later in the day, and make sure the listening end of your phone is working well.  It very likely will be a difficult and emotional day….she may need a shoulder to cry on or a person with whom she can vent. 

6)    I wonder if she will get any Mother’s Day cards?  You could make sure there is at least one.

7)    IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE CHILDREN---don’t assume it is a no big deal day….remember, she didn't just lose her husband, she lost a potential family.

8)    Maybe she’d like to spend the day with HER mother, and doesn't have the resources to get there…you might be able to help out.

9)    The most significant help you give may not be on Mother’s Day.  It may be over lunch the day after when you ask how things went.  It just helps to know somebody cares, or even that somebody is aware that it might have been a difficult day
10) Don’t underestimate the power and meaning of prayer.  Pray for her on Mother’s Day, and let her know she is in your prayers.

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