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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Top Ten Mother’s Day Tips for Newly Divorced Mothers

Top Ten Mother’s Day Tips for Newly Divorced Mothers

(BTW:  It may be even harder for divorced women who are NOT mothers, as they experience an opportunity shattered.)

1)    Really, like you moms would need tips from me???  Most moms I know are smart enough to appreciate everything your kids do on Mother’s Day anyway, so the first tip is:  follow your heart with your kids….remember all the special bonds you have with your children as you celebrate and let those come out.

2)   Focus on your time with your kids….especially if your ex is doing things that could distract you, it isn't about him, it’s about you and your kids.  Leave your feelings about him somewhere else for the day.

3)   Let it truly be a day of rejoicing.  It may be tempting (and fully understandable) to be in mourning on this special day as you are aware that the family you had dreamed and planned for has been torn apart by the ravages of divorce.  But you still have your children, you are still their mom, and God still can do marvelous things through you.

4)   A challenge to you:  if your ex helped the kids shop or make their cards or anything to make the day better for you….send him a thank you card.  It may impact for the better, relations with your ex for many years to come.

5)   Mother’s Day can raise the specter of all you have lost in the divorce and renew feelings of anger and hurt.  However, your precious children from that marriage are WHY you are celebrating today...there IS something good to remember and celebrate.

6)   I know Mother’s Day is supposed to be about you, but consider getting outside of yourself:  see if there is another woman who is struggling with the day, and do something to help make her day a little bit brighter.

7)   Watch your budget…in the midst of the hurt it can be tempting to splurge, and that may create big problems later.

8)   Your own mother, if she is still living, is also suffering from limited opportunities with her grandchildren.  Do your best to make Mother’s Day special for your mom, their grandmother.

9)   The break with your spouse complicates lots of relationships.  If you had a good relationship with her, will you send a Mother’s Day card to your ex-mother-in-law?  Or make sure your children do so for that grandmother?  (But don’t do it if you have been mean to your ex!  At least not without an apology.)

10) The Bible honors the mothers of Israel:  Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah.  And Mary is honored as the mother of Jesus.  If you choose, even on Mother’s Day, to pursue the paths of godly motherhood, your heritage will also be established by God.

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