...Not so quick and easy...
While there is a certain degree of commonality that exists
for all of us who go through the divorce process, there are lots of factors
that mean there is also a great deal of variety and divergence. When I write my blog postings, I do so from
the perspective of a U.S.
citizen. Not only, that, but a resident
of Kansas . That cultural viewpoint impacts the writings
regarding divorce. For instance, I
recently learned that a certain eastern state has something like a 2 year
process for a divorce. Here, it is a 60
day waiting period. Everything from
child support, child placement, alimony, “visitation” and a host of other
details seem to vary pretty widely from state to state and nation to nation. If divorce has entered your life somehow, it can
be critical that you know what the ins and outs are for the state in which you
reside, and that is where the attorney can be pretty helpful.
Other countries have different ways of doing things as
well. At least in some of the Muslim
countries, the laws don’t allow a woman to get a divorce, she has to ask the
husband for it. And if he grants it, the
children of a certain age always go
to the father. I have heard that in some
places, a divorce is accomplished merely by one telling the other that he/she
divorces him or her. In some Catholic
countries I have heard about, divorce is not an acceptable part of the legal
structure. Apparently, the bad marriages
are handled in other ways….some of which don’t sound very good.
These things are part of what make divorce such a difficult
process. The waters are very murky. And what is helpful or effective in one
locale may be counterproductive or irrelevant in another. To make it more complicated, people don’t
generally pay attention to divorce laws, until they are being applied to their
own situation. The person who files may
have explored the topic prior to filing, and the filed upon may have to play
legal catch-up, but they both often
discover that there are an incredible number of unknowns. Friends who have gone through the process and
attorneys can become critical aids in making it through the upheavals of
divorce. Friends who haven’t been
through the process can be more effectively encouraging when they understand a
bit how complicated it all can become.
And, of course, the most important support of all is God, who
understands far better than any human ever can.
TL:dr The variety of
laws and processes can make divorce surprisingly confusing and complicated.
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