(Reposting this blog from yesterday... caught some errors in it and wanted to put out a corrected version...)
On it's way....
Richard has finished the second volume of Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce: Spring and Summer is in preparation for the publisher!! To give you a sneak peek we are posting Day 43 from the book.
Like the first volume - volume 2 has six months worth of daily devotionals and is intended to walk with you on your journey through the divorce process.
Day
43 1
Samuel 20:25-32; Genesis 4:3-11; and
James 1:19-20
Rage.
Hatred. Resentment. Revenge.
Fury. Wrath. Bitterness.
Detest. Rampage. Shame.
Raving. Temper. Grudges.
Jealousy. Malice. Outrage.
Disgust. Pretty intense words,
huh? Emotions that are pretty consuming,
too. Do you recognize any of those
words? Do you remember feeling that way
in recent months? Maybe you don’t have
to go back months…..maybe this morning, or a few minutes ago. I suspect a high percentage of us who have
experienced divorce have faced most of these emotions at some point in the
process. Especially if there are
particularly difficult circumstances to deal with, such as having been abused
(or children who were abused), an ex who was viciously vindictive in the
divorce, if you are the victim of an adulterer, if you were left financially
devastated or abandoned at an extremely awkward time such as when expecting a
baby. I bet these don’t even scratch the
surface.
I want to offer a few thoughts to you in
regard to these emotions. It isn’t
surprising that you may have felt any or all of these at some point in your
divorce. I know…I felt many of them,
myself. Because divorce literally
shatters so much of our lives, and hits us at the core in a very extreme
way. It makes sense that extreme
emotions would arise under those conditions.
What doesn’t make sense is to let those emotions begin to take over your
soul, or to continue to nurture them and end up trapped in their nasty
clutches. Today’s scriptures include the
story of two men whose lives went into ruin because they did just that, they
allowed these powerful emotions to take control of their hearts and their
choices as they expressed them in impulsive and damaging action against others. Cain was so jealous of Abel, and so ashamed
that his rage took over and he killed his brother, ending up cursed and
rejected because of it. Saul’s jealousy
and rage against David took over and the story of God’s first chosen king in Israel
turned from victory into tragedy as his life spiraled further and further
downward into depression and eventually death.
Unfortunately, there is not an easy way out of these things.
Now that you are in the springtime of your
divorce, these emotions may be subsiding, less frequent and starting to heal
over. If not, then you may want to do
some serious soul searching. Is where
those emotions lead really the place you wish to go? If you allow their destructive nature to spit
venom into your words and deeds, will that be the kind of example you wish to
set for your children and friends? James
warns us that our anger is not the kind of anger God has; it is about us, not
about justice. Usually anger masks a
deeper emotion, like being hurt, or feeling helpless and betrayed, or even
being embarrassed and ashamed. There is
a way out with God’s help and learning to forgive. It may require you to spend some time with
your pastor or a professional counselor.
It is common to experience these in the heat of divorce….but dangerous
to let them follow you into the next stage of your life. I encourage you to be sure you have started
doing the hard work of letting them go so you can find the peace of Christ to
bring healing, serenity and self-control.
It will be well worth it.
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