Living in the Present

 SEASONS…of Divorce and more

Not long ago I was rejoicing at seeing the flowers blooming and birds returning that signals the start of springtime.  It won’t be long now, till we officially reach summer with the hot days and muggy nights.  And for those who are really big fans of summer, vacations and camping and boating and skiing and swimming and mosquitoes and sunburns….sorry, just can’t help myself I guess.  It sounds like I don’t like summer, but that isn’t true.  I actually enjoy all the seasons.  My sister lives in the Pacific Northwest, and she claims her summer is about a week long.  She also claims that she has missed the turning of the seasons over the years as she lived in southern California and now the Pacific Northwest.

As for me, I find each season has good things and not so good things, and it is up to us to decide which we want to focus our attention upon.  My book titles, the whole Seasons of Divorce concept…is a simple recognition of the changes that come as one phase of the process passes and individuals move on into the next.  The Finding God part of the title is that, as in life, God is always present for those who will look and seek him, but can easily be missed if we focus on the wrong things.

People have used the images of seasons to talk about life in general, with the springtime of youth and the autumn of later years.  I wonder, in what ways are you experiencing some kind of “seasonal changes” in your life?  It could be related to a relocation, to a job change, to the physical changes that come with aging, to the change in relationships as children mature, or in the area of personal growth and spiritual maturity.

How do you do at handling those changes?  Life is full of them.  In fact, it’s like the old saying:  The only thing that never changes is that everything is always changing!  Life is like that.  The moments and experiences you have today are here for a season, only.  Enjoy them now.  Treasure them now.  Find the good in them now.  Find how God is using them now.  Too often we long to be able to have once again one of the special time of our lives, to relive some special experiences.  But we cannot.  They were here for a season, and in this new season there is also always something special for those who seek it. 

The principle is true in the aftermath of divorce.  After my divorce, I had a season in which I enjoyed the advantages of being single and free to use my time and resources as I chose.  After that, I moved to the season of a second marriage, and have enjoyed all the wonderful experiences that have come with it.  But you don’t have to go through divorce to know that the seasonality of life is always fleeting.  I spent time with some good friends today, reminiscing about some special experiences we shared in our spiritual journeys.  Those experiences, too, were for a season, though the impact is forever.

I simply want to challenge you to not spend so much time longing for the past, or hoping for the future, that you miss the joy God has for you in the present!  And I want to remind you that so much of our lives is seasonal, fleeting and temporary.  I encourage you to make sure that you are investing in those things that are eternal, and not merely the things that will fall away as time passes and as your life draws to a new season, or to its conclusion.  There are lots of opportunities to Find God throughout whatever season your life is in right now.  Don’t miss them!

The Seasons of Divorce

THE FOUR SEASONS

So today the temperature outside is two degrees below zero Fahrenheit (about -19 Celsius), due to an artic mass of cold air that has invaded much of the United States.  We do get weather like this where I live, just not this extreme every winter.  The ground is white, me breath is visible and we put on our warmest clothing.  It is just how it is right now.

I have titled my books Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce, the first volume dealing with autumn and winter, the second dealing with spring and summer…not calendar seasons, but the “seasons of divorce.”  The concept is not a unique usage of the seasons.  People do the same thing with life, starting with the springtime of childhood, the summer of young adulthood, the autumn of middle age, with winter being the declining years.  The suggestion of using the seasons in the book was actually my wife’s idea, back when I was organizing the topics, and she was right…it just fits so well.

I was visiting with a friend the other day who was got divorced some years ago, and she was thinking about getting one or the other of the books.  She was trying to decide what season would be applicable in her life.  She has been divorced for something like 15 years, and, to my surprise, she thought perhaps she was in winter.  When I inquired why, it was because her ex was continuing to bring heartache and hassles to her life after all these years, by playing games with the children and the finances.  Pretty stupid, huh?  But her story is not the only one like that I have heard.  When I pressed further, though, and described the topics in the books, she thought perhaps spring might be more relevant, and left with volume two

I have a point to this, but before I get there, it might be helpful to recap the description I offered to her about the organization of the book.  (Those of you who have been divorced, though, will already pretty well know exactly what I mean by the notion of seasons.)

Autumn refers to the time when life is falling apart around you, you are sensing the loss of your family, marriage, home, purpose…it is a very scary and depressing time, and the devotions are designed to help the reader through it.  

Winter is the time of desolation, when everything feels cold, lonely and empty.  In this time, the comfort needed relates to the presence of God, the sorting out of grief, and trust that there is promise for the future…these are the kinds of topics discussed in that season’s devotions.  

Spring is the time of new life, as the brown grass begins to turn green, the flowers and trees begin to bud, and one can see signs of life returning once again.  The devotions here have to do with that hope and the rebuilding of life with godly choices, as well as wisdom in handling the ongoing entanglements and hurts.  

Summer, of course, is the season of fun, life, energy and warmth, when life is good and things run smoothly.  The devotions for this period have to do with remembering God in the midst of life, finding ways to minister to others with what you have learned, and reflections on has kept you through the hard times.

Now, back to the subzero weather outside.  I cannot imagine living in someplace like Antarctica…or even northern Alaska.  Remember C.S. Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia talking about it always being winter but never Christmas?  It must feel that way sometimes in those places, too!  Here, though, I watch the storms blow and the temperature drop, and know that it is only temporary.  The snow on the ground today, will be gone before too long.  It doesn’t stay on the ground in our area that long, the sun shines and melts it with a few days, maybe a couple of weeks.  We will have more storms, and more cold weather, but I know it is only temporary. That is one of the earliest promises in the Bible, one God made to Noah, that the seasons would follow one upon the other.  

I don’t really like winter, but I like that it keeps the insect population under control.  And I like how beautiful the snow, ice and frost can be.  I like watching fires burn in the fireplace, and I like the feel of warm sweaters.  Heck, I even kind of like the feel of vigorously shoveling snow in the cold!  But I know in the ground around my house are bulbs I planted that will yield tulips, jonquils and crocus in just a few months.  I know there are forsythia bushes whose golden blossoms will bring beauty to the landscape, and the redbud and mimosa trees will lend their blossoms to the sky.  In winter, that knowledge gives me hope and the ability to endure.

If you are in the autumn or winter of your divorce, or maybe even of your life, I would encourage you to let the snowfalls and darkened skies remind you that this season of life is temporary, too. 

Remember the blossoms you have planted deep into the soils of your life.  Recall the roots you have sent down, that come next summer will produce the apples, peaches or whatever fruit your life will bear.  And if you are nearing the end of life, in that coldest of wintry seasons, remember the promise that the next season will be the eternal sunshine of God’s heavenly summer, the most beautiful season of all.  Because we can endure most anything, if we know that it is only for a time.  God has indeed created the world so that the seasons come and go, and we move on to something fresh, the sunshine after the storms.  Keep your eyes on the horizons of your life, for there is a new day dawning that can be filled with warmth, promise and joy.  But in the meantime, you may have to shovel some snow!