Purpose and Plans

WHAT’S THE POINT?

Are you one of those people who wrestles with meaning in life events?  You know, I mean the kind of person who faces hard things, and then tries to figure out what possible purpose it could serve in your life?  

You think, “Maybe this is to teach me patience or endurance.  Maybe I am going to come out a stronger person.” In doing so, sometimes you can drive yourself nuts trying to figure out a purpose, sometimes you can find a meaning that will help you through a rough time, sometimes you come up with an idea of what it’s all about only to find that it doesn’t work out at all, and sometimes you don’t have a clue!  

Regardless, there is something within us that longs for life to have meaning, for our hardship to have purpose, to have a sense that our lives are more than just random experiences that come our way.  

The good news is, that instinct within is something hardwired into us by God, because life does have purpose, each life has purpose by design.  We really are uniquely designed to fill a specific role God has for us during our days here on earth.  As a result, there is an inner longing to discover what our unique contribution is to be, and how the various experiences of life fit into that design.

When philosophers and theologians get caught up in this discussion, often included are conversations about free will, the role and existence of evil, and whether God allows painful experiences in our lives or designs them to be there for a specific purpose.  One of the answers I like best focuses not so much on the origin of those hardships, and instead emphasizes that God is able to take every experience of our lives and use it for good.  

That assurance frees us from trying to figure everything out, so that instead, we can watch and wonder as we see God take the hard things of life and use them in amazing ways.  The greatest example, of course, is the awful ugliness of the brutal and unjust crucifixion of Jesus which God used for the ultimate good, the purchase of our redemption and entry into eternal life with God.

Sometimes we may not grasp the good God is accomplishing this side of heaven, because it will only be explained in eternity.  For instance, I think of Abraham, who had been promised special blessings from God, but never saw any of them come to fruition while living on earth except the child, Isaac, who was born to Abraham and Sarah late in life.  But thousands of years later, God used Abraham’s obedience in a way that brought into existence Messiah Jesus in Bethlehem, resulting in making salvation for any who would come to him in faith—accomplishing something Abraham never would have imagined.  What good might God accomplish through your efforts to follow him in obedience?

One of the hardest experiences of my life was my divorce. It was something I did not want, something I did not believe was God’s desire, and something that was awful to go through.  

To this day I have a hard time understanding how God will use the various results for good. However, I have also become aware that the books I wrote to help people through divorce, could never have been written had I not gone through the experience myself.  

What makes that significant is that as a result, I have had opportunity to help people struggling in divorce by means of the book, the blog, and emails with individuals I have never met, but who have found the help they needed in these simple efforts.  I must say those things have given meaning to that difficult period of my life, and are ways God has done something good that I never would have expected at the time.

What things are hard in your life, right now?  What are you confused about, doubting that God could ever use it for anything good?  It’s okay if you can’t see it yet.  Wait, watch, endure, follow God as best you can, and one day, you will find that God will surprise you with a good you never imagined.  It is one of the best promises God has for those who love him! 

The Seasons of Divorce

THE FOUR SEASONS

So today the temperature outside is two degrees below zero Fahrenheit (about -19 Celsius), due to an artic mass of cold air that has invaded much of the United States.  We do get weather like this where I live, just not this extreme every winter.  The ground is white, me breath is visible and we put on our warmest clothing.  It is just how it is right now.

I have titled my books Finding God in the Seasons of Divorce, the first volume dealing with autumn and winter, the second dealing with spring and summer…not calendar seasons, but the “seasons of divorce.”  The concept is not a unique usage of the seasons.  People do the same thing with life, starting with the springtime of childhood, the summer of young adulthood, the autumn of middle age, with winter being the declining years.  The suggestion of using the seasons in the book was actually my wife’s idea, back when I was organizing the topics, and she was right…it just fits so well.

I was visiting with a friend the other day who was got divorced some years ago, and she was thinking about getting one or the other of the books.  She was trying to decide what season would be applicable in her life.  She has been divorced for something like 15 years, and, to my surprise, she thought perhaps she was in winter.  When I inquired why, it was because her ex was continuing to bring heartache and hassles to her life after all these years, by playing games with the children and the finances.  Pretty stupid, huh?  But her story is not the only one like that I have heard.  When I pressed further, though, and described the topics in the books, she thought perhaps spring might be more relevant, and left with volume two

I have a point to this, but before I get there, it might be helpful to recap the description I offered to her about the organization of the book.  (Those of you who have been divorced, though, will already pretty well know exactly what I mean by the notion of seasons.)

Autumn refers to the time when life is falling apart around you, you are sensing the loss of your family, marriage, home, purpose…it is a very scary and depressing time, and the devotions are designed to help the reader through it.  

Winter is the time of desolation, when everything feels cold, lonely and empty.  In this time, the comfort needed relates to the presence of God, the sorting out of grief, and trust that there is promise for the future…these are the kinds of topics discussed in that season’s devotions.  

Spring is the time of new life, as the brown grass begins to turn green, the flowers and trees begin to bud, and one can see signs of life returning once again.  The devotions here have to do with that hope and the rebuilding of life with godly choices, as well as wisdom in handling the ongoing entanglements and hurts.  

Summer, of course, is the season of fun, life, energy and warmth, when life is good and things run smoothly.  The devotions for this period have to do with remembering God in the midst of life, finding ways to minister to others with what you have learned, and reflections on has kept you through the hard times.

Now, back to the subzero weather outside.  I cannot imagine living in someplace like Antarctica…or even northern Alaska.  Remember C.S. Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia talking about it always being winter but never Christmas?  It must feel that way sometimes in those places, too!  Here, though, I watch the storms blow and the temperature drop, and know that it is only temporary.  The snow on the ground today, will be gone before too long.  It doesn’t stay on the ground in our area that long, the sun shines and melts it with a few days, maybe a couple of weeks.  We will have more storms, and more cold weather, but I know it is only temporary. That is one of the earliest promises in the Bible, one God made to Noah, that the seasons would follow one upon the other.  

I don’t really like winter, but I like that it keeps the insect population under control.  And I like how beautiful the snow, ice and frost can be.  I like watching fires burn in the fireplace, and I like the feel of warm sweaters.  Heck, I even kind of like the feel of vigorously shoveling snow in the cold!  But I know in the ground around my house are bulbs I planted that will yield tulips, jonquils and crocus in just a few months.  I know there are forsythia bushes whose golden blossoms will bring beauty to the landscape, and the redbud and mimosa trees will lend their blossoms to the sky.  In winter, that knowledge gives me hope and the ability to endure.

If you are in the autumn or winter of your divorce, or maybe even of your life, I would encourage you to let the snowfalls and darkened skies remind you that this season of life is temporary, too. 

Remember the blossoms you have planted deep into the soils of your life.  Recall the roots you have sent down, that come next summer will produce the apples, peaches or whatever fruit your life will bear.  And if you are nearing the end of life, in that coldest of wintry seasons, remember the promise that the next season will be the eternal sunshine of God’s heavenly summer, the most beautiful season of all.  Because we can endure most anything, if we know that it is only for a time.  God has indeed created the world so that the seasons come and go, and we move on to something fresh, the sunshine after the storms.  Keep your eyes on the horizons of your life, for there is a new day dawning that can be filled with warmth, promise and joy.  But in the meantime, you may have to shovel some snow!