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Showing posts with label Father's Day for divorced dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Father's Day for divorced dads. Show all posts

Friday, June 14, 2013

How YOU can help a Divorced Friend on Father's Day!

Top Ten Father’s Day Tips to Help a Recently Divorced Father


1)            When you see him, say something like, “Hey man, how’s it goin’?  How about those Yankees?”  And then slug him in the arm.  In other words, we guys experience support and emotions differently, and so a different approach can be required.


2)           If he has the kids, and you have the ability, offer to take by a good meal over the weekend…it may have been a long time since he had some good home cooking.

3)           You might consider sending him tickets to a ball game for he and the kids….but maybe for Saturday rather than Sunday….less attention on dads and families that way.

4)           You could send him a card….and maybe mention the good qualities you see in him as a father…especially the ones you are seeing post-divorce.  He may be feeling like a failure and need the good word.

5)           He might could use some extra cash…but you may have to do it anonymously.  People are often aware of struggling single moms, but single dads can have it hard, too, with divided finances, maintenance or alimony, sometimes child support….it can really hit guys hard sometimes.

6)           Maybe invite he and his kids to join you for a trip to a local theme park or skiing at the lake…he may not have energy for great ideas himself.  And while out there, let his kids know you think he is a good dad…sometimes they are not told about the good things dad does.

7)           If you know the kids well, you may want to touch base with them to make sure they know it’s Father’s Day, and had opportunity to get cards or gifts.

8)           If he’s a good friend, you might want to consider scheduling late night pizza with him Sunday, or lunch the next day….he may need a place to talk out or debrief after a tough day.

9)           Offer to pick he and the kids up to go to church with you Father’s Day…it can be a tough day to walk in the door alone.


10)         And, as always, one of the greatest gifts you can give is to pray for him, and let him know he is in your prayers.  That is one of the true treasures of Christian friendship.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Top Ten Tips for Father's Day....for the Divorced Dad....

Well, we did some tips for Mother’s Day, how about putting out some ideas for Father’s Day?

 

 

 

Top Ten Father’s Day Tips for Newly Divorced Fathers

 

1)  Don’t try to make up for all the times you DON’T have with your kids, make this time you DO have a special one.

 

2)  Teach the kids the importance of Father’s Day by setting an example in the way you treat your own dad on Father’s Day.  You might even choose to make it a multi-generational celebration, because remember, grandparents also suffer time loss in a divorce.

 

3)  Teach the kids something about YOU, by sharing an activity that is important to you and helping them understand why it is.  

 

4)  If your ex makes the day difficult, choose to NOT focus on that, but to keep central the importance of time with your children….especially if they don’t reside with you most of the time.  Father’s Day isn’t about her, save that for another time.

 

5)  Pay attention to your budget.  If your resources are limited, (and even if they aren’t) don’t overcompensate by making the celebration over the top…maintain some degree of normalcy and keep some old traditions.

6)  We guys often aren’t good with expressing emotions, and they can really bubble to the surface in a big way on Father’s Day after divorce.  Be prepared for that…maybe arrange to have a buddy you can touch base with during the day if you struggle.

 

7)  A challenge to you:  if your ex helped the kids shop or make their cards or anything to make the day better for you…send her a thank you card…she is a rare gal if she does.  Your note may impact for the better, relations with your ex for many years to come.

 

8)  The break with your spouse complicates lots of relationships.  If your father-in-law was a good friend, consider sending him a Father’s Day card, or make sure your children do so for that grandfather.  (But don’t do it if you have been mean to your ex!  At least not without an apology.)

 

9)  You may know another guy who is having a tough Father’s Day…maybe because of a divorce himself, or some other reason.  You may want to find a way to include him in your plans and make a difference for HIM, too.  

 

10)  The Bible honors godly fathers, from Abraham to Job and beyond.  Set a godly example for Father’s Day, make sure you spend part of it with the kids in worship…being an example of faith is the greatest thing a Father can do.