NO
COST MARRIAGE!
If you wanted to be a welder, you
need to take some kind of classes or apprenticeship. If you want to be able to do CPR, you need
the classes for that, too, even though you may only use it once or twice your
entire life! If you want your business
to succeed, you are going to have to invest some finances into it, either as
startup capital or maybe in paying for a college or tech school education to
prepare you. Here in Kansas , even if you want to drive a car, you
have to go through some kind of class or training, and prove yourself
competent.
But if you want to get
married, all you have to do is find somebody else willing and show up at the
ceremony with a positive answer! Isn’t
it something that one of the most profound and difficult challenges we will
ever face in life…to love, honor, till death do you part, etc…requires no or
little training?
Another way to look at it might be
in terms of finances. These days,
couples spend literally thousands and thousands of dollars on the few hours of
the wedding ceremony and celebration, using hours upon hours of meticulous
planning to make sure everything goes just right. And some couples spend thousands and
thousands of dollars on attorneys to dissolve the vows from that ceremony. But
those same couples balk at the idea of spending a few hundred dollars, or a few
hours a week, with a marriage counselor, or taking marriage classes as a way to
learn how to make this most important of human commitments viable, meaningful
and successful. We’d rather spend the
money on the ceremony or the attorneys, when, as with any other venture in
life, a few wise investments along the way can yield bountiful results and
great cost savings in the long run.
Parenting is the same way. As was pointed out in the movie,
“Parenthood,” there are no qualification requirements to be given permission to
have a child…any and all kinds of people become parents with no training or
preparation about what is necessary to raise that child. We do what we think based on whatever
examples we have seen…good or bad… and what we guess is a good idea, but to
really have been properly trained?
We observe this in parenting, and
are so open to parenting classes, videos, books and tons of other resources as
we seek help. But all too often I have
seen that individuals who could really benefit from marriage
counseling/classes/retreats/books balk at the idea as if going to those things
is tantamount to failure. In reality,
NOT seeking the guidance that could come or at least seeking to learn how to be
a better marriage partner/couple is what leads to failure! And in those cases, the times I see couples
finally go to counseling, one or both of them has already given up and is only
going through the motions. Sometimes I
am wrong, but not often enough.
Today’s blog is very simple. I have had many plants in my life who, if
they could speak, would bear witness to the fact that NOTHING grows without
adequate nurture and care, and many of my plants have turned brown to prove it
to me.
If you are divorced, and may be
getting remarried someday, my question is, are you going to do the work it
takes to make a new relationship work, or are you only going to invest in the
wedding ceremony?
If you are married,
whether the first marriage or not, are you investing seriously in the success
of that relationship, or are you merely skating along assuming it will
survive?
Frankly, I think we’d be better
off having a $25 wedding ceremony, and a $25,000 dollar marriage if we had to
choose, don’t you? Choose and invest
wisely, that choice will make a difference for your entire life!
TL:dr A good marriage requires real investment,
investment we often neglect until it’s too late
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