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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Help with getting through the holidays!


I promised to get some tips out for your holiday planning, especially for those who may be newly divorced.  (Those of you who read this and aren't divorce might consider printing it off or sharing the link for a friend recently divorced.)  

So, how about these:

10)  Abide by your court assigned responsibilities.  Honor the agreement, even if your ex chooses to do otherwise, because you choose to be a person of integrity.

 9)  Plan well ahead.  Notify children, your ex, grandparents of scheduled plans early enough that they will know how to make plans of their own.

8)  Include traditions that have been significant in your past, even though they may provoke bittersweet memories.

7)  Include new traditions that you create, traditions that emphasize meaningful things for you. 

6)  If you are grieving the loss of your spouse and time away from your children this holiday season, be careful that your grief does not prevent you from appreciating the family and friends you DO have around you at this time.

5)  Be realistic in your celebration expenses.  There is no shame in teaching your children responsible budgeting if you are suffering the effects of an expensive divorce.

4)  Don’t allow yourself to get caught in a gift competition with your ex…nobody wins when you do that.  Do what is appropriate in your situation.  It may even be helpful to suggest the children make separate gift lists for each side of the family to avoid duplication which may place them in an awkward situation.

3)  Make plans now for the time you won’t be around family.  If you are remarried, it means something for the two of you when the children are at the other homes.  Plan ahead and choose not to put yourself in situations that will emphasize loneliness, rather plan things that you can do because you have the opportunity on your own.

2)  Make God a central part of your planning and your celebration.  God will always attend every celebration to which you invite Him.

1) Focus most of all on what the holiday really means.  Remember that giving thanks, or celebrating Christ is what they holiday is actually all about.  We do those things as family, and family is important, but family is not the reason we have the holiday!  If you focus on the real meaning, you can appreciate the day regardless of family difficulties.

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