LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
After a couple of more serious
blogs, I thought I’d throw a few more fun thoughts out there, for balance you
know.
Divorce is a crappy experience,
right? And for most of us, it’s a
heartbreaking experience. There are
those, I know, who find it to be a deliverance from an awful homelife, I was
reminded as I watched “Sleeping With The
Enemy” again the other night. But
even when it is a deliverance, it is still heartbreaking and difficult.
During divorce and the aftermath,
sometimes it is helpful to find something
to smile about, because there is so much that can drag you down. I am a person who enjoys all sorts of humor,
including humor that can sometimes be a little dark, and somehow, I decided,
I’d make up a list of the “bright side” of divorce, and maybe it will bring
that smile. Some are more serious than
others, some, though true, bring a bittersweet smile, but take it in the spirit
intended, and maybe something in it will brighten your day. So here is my little list, hopefully pieces
relevant for both genders:
1)
You can now sleep on whichever side of
the bed you want to…even catty whompus diagonal across the middle. In other words, you can have the whole TOP
side! And, for a bonus, you even get to
keep all the covers!
2)
If you don’t like broccoli, or Brussels
sprouts, there won’t be anybody making them whose feelings will be hurt if you
don’t at least taste them, neither will you have to pretend that the burnt
steak from the grill actually tastes good.
3)
You won’t have to decide where to invest
your money. (The court and the attorneys
will be very willing to help decide where to direct your finances.)
4)
The toilet paper WILL be dispensed the
“CORRECT” way, the toothpaste rolled or squeezed (which YOU know it is the best
method) and the toilet seat will be left exactly how you want it left.
5)
Your grocery bill will be substantially
less. (And, if you are a guy like most
guys, substantially less healthy, too!)
6)
If you remarry, you will get a “second
honeymoon,” but with a different person, making it two “first honeymoons”
instead!
7)
You don’t have to watch action movies
(or romantic movies) unless you want to.
8)
If you’re a guy, there will be more room
in the bathroom medicine cabinet with the makeup gone and you won’t have to use
shower gel stuff if you want to use soap.
If
you’re a woman, you won’t have to fight against the bathroom smelling like a
locker room, or find bits of shaving cream, toothpaste and who knows what else
left on the counter and in the sink.
9)
If you want to take the kids to Disneyland , it doesn’t matter whether you spouse wants to
go or not, you can just take them! (financial
considerations aside)
10)
The house can be decorated, depending on
your gender, with all the pastels or trophy deer heads you want!
11)
If you break a dish or the faucet, there
won’t be anybody around to remind you that it is all your fault!
12)
And, odds are, you will now win most of the adult arguments in your
home…unless, of course, you are a person who beats yourself up a lot or the old
multiple personality disorder kicks in.
13)
Either you will now get to find out how the
television remote control works OR you will no longer hear complaints about the
way you work it.
14)
If you want to go to the all night store at
three in the morning, you can do so, and not only will nobody mind, nobody will
even notice!
15)
When you leave something in the fridge, it
will still be there next time you go back for it (unless you have teenagers, in
which case you should install a revolving door on your refrigerator anyway).
Well, those are a few bright
sides, perhaps. And when so much is
lost, sometimes it really does help to find something
to consider a bright side. There are
some positive things that can happen as a result of a divorce, but they come
with a pretty high price. But then, so
does staying in a really bad marriage, right?
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